Hello,

I wrote my therapist today and told him I want to stop therapy. We've been discussing our working relationship for a month or more now, and we both realize we're not getting along very well. But the last few sessions have just been really bad - in my opinion - and I really don't see a point in returning. I told him I could come to the appointment I have on Tuesday if he wishes to finalize the closure, but I really do wish to stop, whether we just stop now, or we stop Tuesday, one way or another. Usually he keeps wanting me to come back again the following week even though we've talked about stopping before, but we're not getting anywhere. I really want this to stop.

It's also hard in a way, because I really don't have any other ideas for finding another counselor or therapist. Since the therapist I worked with really well moved away about a year ago, I have seen a number of Ts. I think this one was number 5. I have seen him for six months. I was wishing it would work out because I could afford his fees, and his office was at a location I could reach by public transit and walking (I don't have a car). But I just don't think we're a good personality match, and his therapy approach isn't a good fit for me. I don't feel safe talking there. His approach is very distant, and I just feel scared there all the time. If I were going to see a therapist again, I wish I could find somebody who were more supportive and caring, at least in sessions. I wish they could listen and seem to understand what I am saying. It has also been hard because this fellow doesn't have any sort of plan for what happens when there are problems between sessions, and it doesn't seem okay to ask about developing a plan for what I can do on my own, either. The other counselors and therapists I saw in the past were okay with email, or phone calls, when problems arose. Or we could talk about how I might come up with plans to deal with things on my own when things are bad. But in this working relationship, it doesn't seem okay to discuss much of anything at all. I can't really figure out what's okay to discuss, in actuality. I contrast this with the working relationship I had with the last main counselor I saw, and it was okay to discuss virtually anything with him. The only limit was my own shyness, or lack of bravery! That was exceedingly helpful, to have a place where it was okay to discuss things like that, and get support and work things out in my mind, and work on feelings and such.

I think at this point, I probably will stop therapy. I don't know how to find another therapist that I can afford, and find an office I can reach....I've been trying. So I think that this may be it for now. Which is also a difficult thing, because it's been a hard time, and I am aware I'm still not doing very well. I wish there were better answers, and I don't think that there is. So it's hard.

Thanks for listening.

Take care,
ErinBear