So today was my last day at my job. Having been laid off last Friday, I worked through today and now I'm done. For good. Forever. And it was my favorite job I have ever had. The whole week was filled with goodbyes from co-workers and vendors, etc. Cleaning out seven and a half years' worth of stuff. I loved it there. I loved all of them.

At least I have no regrets. I am so glad I went there, and it was a great experience. And at least I can't second-guess the ending, since it wasn't my choice.

But I'm drained, absolutely exhausted emotionally. My job was the really stable thing in my life. And now it's gone. My love relationship ended more than a year ago.

The one thing grounding me right now is therapy! My therapist said he'd still see me even if my next job causes me to have an erratic schedule, even if I had to go after-hours. I am so grateful. I wanted to tell him I love him though I couldn't bring myself to say it. I'm no good at expressing my emotions. Maybe next time.

Monday will be the weirdest day for me, waking up and not going to work. Not knowing what I will do next. Wondering if I can find a new job.

My apartment is a disaster, being suddenly filled with all the contents of my office that I brought home. I can barely stand to stay in this wreck. I guess I have some time to clean though.

I feel so alone. I have friends. I have my wonderful therapist. But still. What a sense of emptiness.

Sidony