Just felt that I owed everyone an update. Things are going better. I have transitioned back into living at home with my cat and dog. I spent thursday thru tuesday in the psych ward because I felt like it was getting to be a safety issue after crashing real hard. The doc had a lot to say here and there. He said I am running from my problems and need to deal with things; ie anxiety so he took away my prn my reg pdoc prescribed which pissed me off but whatever. and before I was discharged he said oh by the way ur lithium levels too high and ur thyroids too low; so he lowered the lithium to 600 and my reg pdoc looked at the results and wrote a script for synthroid so we'll see how that goes. He said the change could make me feel better and stabalize my mood more and what not.... Told my dad about my behavior as far as the party and using cocaine for the first time and he was real calm and cool about it but maybe a little bit of denial cause he said when it comes down to it, I nor the person who provided it knew what it was and how it could have been baby laxatives or ajax bc they use those sort of things to cut it and stretch it. So I guess it wasn't as bad as I was panicking it to be... Thanks for listening everyone and ur feedback!