I am not sure whether to post this in the general forum or the medication forum or the depression forum. I guess I’ll post it here. I stopped taking my meds for a few weeks. Now I feel like crap. I was doing so well, I thought I could go without them. I take abilify, lamictal, wellbutrin and Dexedrine. Oh, yeah and my antabuse. It just seems like I am on too many meds. The wellbutrin makes my brain a little foggy and causes a few problems with my memory. I guess the side effects are better than going crazy. I hate taking meds. My depression is coming back, the intrusive thoughts are back…I have started the meds again but I know it is going to take awhile before they kick in.

In some ways taking an antipsychotic, a mood stabilizer and an antidepressant makes me feel crazy—like it means I have mental health issues. I just want to be normal—I don’t want to have a mental illness. I am not asking for a lot—I just want to go to work and take care of my house and such without being medicated to the gills. I’d like to be able to just drink a beer. I don’t want to have to go to therapy or see a psychiatrist. I am tired of journaling about my moods. And I don’t want to do relaxation techniques for panic attacks. I want to go through life without being worried about triggers or how something is going to effect my mental health. I am tired of the constant maintenance it takes for me to stay sane.