I have always taken the blame if there is any way it could have been me who "did it" or caused it, or made the mistake... even if it wasn't me at all.

I was told by my mother all my life how stupid I was, what a mistake I was, how I was clumsy and would never amount to anything.I was told by my father that if I didn't do what he wanted, I would be left to explain his death to my family because it would be my fault he killed himself.

I am 44 years old and I still find ways to take the blame when it isn't mine to take. I find ways to convince myself I am the one who messed up whatever may be messed up.Sometimes I even believe it must have been me somehow.

I don't want to be this way but I don't know how not to. It is driving my boyfriend crazy and I can't say I blame him for getting aggravated with me. He doesn't like to see me " beat myself up:" over something i didn't control. It sounds silly that I do this doesn't it?

Anyway.. sorry for not being such a Sunybear...