((((((((((((((DePressMe))))))))))))))))
This is all a learning experience hon. I know it's not easy accepting that these meds make life better for you even when you want so desperately to not have to depend on them.
I like to think of it this way.......If you had heart problem or high blood pressure and needed the meds every day to control those issues, if you stopped them, it could have dire consequences. Yes, taking them can be a pain in the arse, but they are necessary for wellbeing. I feel the same about meds for a mental illness/imbalance. They are there to help you get through each day in a better place. A mental illness to me, is no different than a heart problem. It's a part of our body, there are things that can go wrong in any part of our body.
It's almost like taking an antibiotic.....the doc tells you to finish the script even if you begin to feel better before you are done with the bottle. By doing that, you may be allowing the illness to regroup and strike again. Even though you were feeling good on the meds, you might not want to stop them cold turkey as it can have a rebound affect.
I hope that they kick in soon for you and you are back on the upswing hon. We're here for you and support you through it all! Hang in there.....you'll be back on track again soon!
Hugssss
J