I just came over a rough patch the other night.

It SUCKED!

I was talking to my cousin over msn, talking about disorders, and what some of our family members suffer from. She is majoring in psychology... Anyways I started to ramble on about my stuff, then she asked the dreaded question.... I don't know what happened to you but you can tell me if you want? I told her alot of it, then I started to think about to "a" the abuse, the rape, the sexual assualts by the other 8 guys, the threat, and the harrassment and that sucked.

After that someone from that past (of the abusive ex) comes online, he used to hang out with all us back then when I was 16, we went out for a bit.. started to talk to him, but then it got me thinking about to "a" again... was frustrating.. but I enjoyed talking to him for that short amount of time.

Not long after that I say his name on another board that I moderate at. Obviously that wasn't him but it was in one of the abuse threads, and I started to feel uncomfortable ect.

Also I had a dream a few days back, a nightmare of being attacked, twince in the same dream. Last night I had some images of "a" and an ex coworker that sexually assualted me... then came other people and it just ended up in a snowball effect.

I ended up printing up some pages to bring into my next session on thursday.. just frustrating, you think you're doing good then this [censored] keeps coming up again.