[quote=Connor Ventura;4479229]

TL;DR

So I guess my final question is this. Is it possible that I could have Bipolar without frequent manic up states, but instead have them replaced by mild happy feeling behaviour with a slightly accelerated motivation?

To answer your question directly, yes it is possible. I have BP2, with long bouts of depression and relatively few periods of feeling high/good. The high's are still low when compared to those with BP1, and are more marked by taking on too much, not needing sleep, feeling super confident, spending more than I should, making careless decisions without much thought, those types of things. The depression is however is debilitating, pulling me into the depths below where life itself has not meaning. Being BP2 has severely impacted my life in so many areas. Like many others, it took so long to get a diagnosis that a lot of damage was already done. Don't let that happen to you.

You need to get in and see a Pdoc that you can really open up to, and who can in turn help you before you lose any more quality of life. You don't mention whether you are seeing one or not, can I suggest you make it a priority to see a Pdoc, and a Therapist. Whatever your diagnosis, a Pdoc and Therapist can help you cope better with the symptoms you have, both through medication and therapy. That's what you need right now more than anything, a diagnosis will come with time, or later.

Well done for reaching out for help. It's not always easy to admit you need help. Having said that, you are irreplaceable, and as such, you need to make you a priority. The world needs you and so do we.

I wish you all the best in your struggles. I am always happy to talk via PM.