Stable. What makes it great is also the same things that make it stink. Insert whatever word you want to there, but stinks doesn't really cut it. I don't miss the deathly lows, the darkness that encompasses and smothers your very being. But the creativity, the confidence, the throwing the care to the wind and actually getting out there an living life like there is no tomorrow - I miss that terribly. It's like I know I am capable of feeling absolutely fantastic, and how good it is possible to feel, but I am not allowed to go there anymore.....I'm just numb. But numb means I will get to experience life for a lot longer than I would if I remained unstable. Of this I am sure.

Being high. The cost of going and staying there is just too high.