For those that say "you'll find the right combo" I HAVE. I have had periods of stability on meds for years at a time, this last one was 4 years before the hormonal stuff screwed me up. I feel meds are hindering me more than helping now. How many of you have been on geodon for 5/6 years?? Its not meant to be used that long. Im not functioning at all and I dont think it is pure depression - I think I am too sedated and my body is not happy with all the heavy duty chemicals for so long.

I think I am ready to come off meds, I have the skills, I keep myself safe despite being so low at times, I havent been hypomanic in a long long time, I have access to inpatient care if I need it and will continue weekly therapy. I just have to tell my meds pdoc....

I am willing to stay on the SSRI for the OCD for a while, but I want off the AP and clonazepam at the very least. Although willing to take PRN if needed. Zyprexa + Zeldox combo seems to get me out of episodes if we catch it. And honestly I dont expect episodes. I know I will get crazy hormonal every month but I feel with my skills and knowledge I can deal with the BP. Im hoping the crazy hormonal settles down as AP's can affect that.

Now the question.... drop the AP completely and have a few weeks of hell withdrawls, or drag it out... I guess I talk to my support network. I want to be stable and off med by my birthday but I dont want to drive everyone mental.