Why do I fall so easily for people? Im a mess. Its not a good idea to date anyone. Id probably just make them sad. But they believe im a good person. Weve held hands. They nickname me a prince. And they havent chased me away yet, even after i made some mistakes (not bad guy mistakes, i was just being dumb). These are good things, right? Do they like me? Im so afraid of turning into my abusers that I become hypercritical of what I do or say and I wish I could just enjoy myself for once and let things happen however they happen. I feel like I dont even know how relationships work. If this pans out, it will be the first one in years that wasnt predators. And if it doesnt i dont care, i like them, i want to be their friend. I feel like a dumb boy who really knows nothing and I hope they will tolerate me.

Josh