I can't get a restraining order without a witness or proof to the things that were done, I looked into it several times already. Where I live is very rural, the nearest police force is over an hour away, if I get a restraining order which is a piece of paper and just piss him off and then he breaks it what am I supposed to do? Throw it at him? The cops are too far anything he wanted to do would be done by the time they got here.

I know he has aids now because a family member told me. One of the few times I bumped into her in a store, she lectured me on how I broke him, how he could barely breathe without me and was crazy in love with me. I said tough crap he's crazy and needs to stay the hell away from me.

I can only assume the aids came from A. one of the women he was sleeping with while we were together or shooting up. I don't really care which. I don't have them and that's all I cared about, not that I suspected I did. My mom did have me tested for things even though nothing sexual happened.

He did try telling people I was crazy and psychotic, that I was abusive to him and that he was in love with me. He spun a great story about how damaged I was and he was trying to save me to his family. Apparently, I broke his heart and gave him aids. At least that's what he said.

The only plus to his claim I gave him STDS was I texted him and said I didn't give you anything and he was all yeah you did so I said well, I'm pregnant and the idiot replied "Well there's no way it's mine we never had sex." and then I had a text backing my saying we didn't. It proves nothing really since there are those who believe we did but I don't care. I find I can live without my reputation just fine.

I'm just frustrated he won't let go. If he wants to play a powerplay game that's fine with me I'll play but the fact is he does it all behind my back instead of to my face. He might be crazy but I can be worse, he's just a coward that stays hidden away. I just don't understand the thrill he's getting anymore.

Why is it still fun?