I'm tired of taking meds, too, but they seem to be the only things between me and insanity. It sounds like you are suffering from a bout of depression. Things always look the bleakest when we are depressed. I fight that feeling often and know how discouraging it can be. Lately, I've been feeling like I'm just taking up space, too. I just try to get through one day at a times, as the old cliche says. Hang in there. You have a purpose, you may just not know what it is right now.