Having spent so many years -- more than a decade -- without an LTR when I was much younger and prettier than I am now -- and when I was actively circulating and looking -- for me the decision isn't as easy as, "Either I'm in or I'm not."

Even if I decide, "Okay, I'm in, I'm going shopping," I couldn't possibly spend all my non-work time actively looking, circulating, dating.

For one thing, I'm an introvert. I'm always going to need alone-time just for me.

Second, I can circulate all I want to and, especially in mid-to-late life, there is just not a lot of product on the shelves. What's there may be seriously flawed -- the multiple divorced guys, the widower who is worshipping his late wife, the needy guy who needs you to wash his socks, cook his meals, and listen to his jokes over and over.

In the end, doing things that feed and nourish the inner me make me the kind of person who can be in a healthy relationship.

Right now, I'm out of that game. Oh sure, I fantasize about having a nice someone who loves me and who I love. But I'm a pragmatist, and I know what the cost will be, and I'm not willing or able to pay it right now. And I am not youthful and pretty enough to have guys beating down my door, begging me to reconsider, like in the old days. And if someone tried, I'd probably only say something sarcastic and cynical, due to my current POV re: males my age.

But enough about me. Patty, I think you need to trust yourself more to make a good choice if this is what you want. That's my $.02 probably worth a lot less in an economy where a good cup of coffee costs five bucks.