Hi Sunny -- Welcome to PC.



And brava for stepping out and stating what's on your mind.

I totally and completely relate to what you are saying. I grew up in an era when women were expected to be the peacemakers and keep the peace -- in a family, at work, everywhere. If that meant eating how I really felt, that was too bad.

It is still hard for me, and my social conditioning is such that I am pretty careful about where I draw the line in the sand. In another group, there was a post from a member who had an argument about what a decorative item in the home. Now, that's something I wouldn't fight about. The males I've been with usually didn't care, so if he had a request, I'm not drawing a line in the sand there. I'm going to save arguing for something that really matters to me.

I think it's good that you are bringing this emotional dynamic into consciousness. I think it will help you to make choices that you find more satisfying.