I really really need some non-judgemental help and advice, I've looked all over the Internet but I can't find anywhere and I hope this is the place.

A few months ago I started a new job and met my boss, didn't think anything of it really he's older than me and married. But just weeks in he starts talking to me a lot paying me a lot of attention, making eye contact like I've never experienced before, joking with me teasing me and of course this caught my attention, we get on so well, we have the same sense of humour, and a lot in common. I started to have a crush on him and I thought there was sparks between us, I wouldn't have noticed him like I do now if there was nothing on his part as I wasn't attracted to him from the moment I saw him.

But months have passed and we have gotten closer, it's easier to bullet point the reasons I think he does feel the spark too and the situations that have made me think he does like me too.

He's extremely protective of me, he will do anything to keep me happy, he will ask me constantly if I'm okay, he notices if I'm not okay or quiet and will then follow me around asking if I'm ok or if anyone's upset me or if he needs to sort someone out for me, if I'm not okay he wants to know why weather it be to do with work or personal life, even when he's told by other colleagues not to ask because it's personal or it's not to do with him he will still ask. If I make a mistake at work he will cover it up and get protective if anyone else involved might be annoyed because of it. He has even called other colleagues outside of work hours to ask if I'm ok.

He makes the most intense eye contact I have honestly ever experienced and doesn't break it, he will look over at me if he makes a joke while talking to someone else, he will look if he or I enter a room I catch him looking out the corner of my eye but other times we both are staring at eachother.

He makes an effort to speak to me, he will make an effort to say hello, to ask me about things I've done or been up to, to speak about anything really and quite often we end up in really long conversations about his childhood and hobbies and well everything really... There have been times colleagues have come to find us we have been caught up talking so long. Even if I'm right across the office and he thinks I can hear he will bring my name into the conversation which of course gets my attention, if I make a conscious effort not to speak to him he will drag me into the convo by asking me questions even if it is just about work if that doesn't work he will go back to asking what's wrong with me.

He touches me, this has only started about a month ago, he will touch my arm, he put his arm round me and lent in (to hear me better supposedly) he's now taken to 'accidental' touching, standing so close our arms touch, standing behind me so close I'm basically leaning on his chest, I'll hand him a cup or a document and our hands touch he will put his fingers over mine and the touch will linger for what feels like forever, I'll get nervous and move away first, the other day I'm sure he stroked my hand with his thumb when I gave him something.

He teases me and winds me up a lot, he winks at me, if he passes me or thinks I'm there he will turn around to look, he has made sexual jokes before usually including me but doesn't do this all the time, he once made something I asked him into an innuendo of us having sex... The question was simple and work related, so why he thought of us having sex is beyond me.

His body language is pretty much on cue, feet pointing my way etc but it's hard to read and not always true as sometimes it's just easier to stand that way etc. he will however lean over me or stand close he will ask for my help with stupid things and boast about himself and what he's good at, he tells me I would be surprised at what he can do. Sometimes he whispers to me as well. And will try and keep me talking.

He rarely mentions his wife, sometimes when he does its in a negative way, or something negative... But then he will mention her in a passing convo with me. I don't ask though. Once when I was with him I answered his phone (it's a works phone and he was busy) and she questioned him about why she didn't know about me and who I was.

He gets stroppy if I don't accept a drink off him but if I do off someone else, he makes everything rude and looks at me grinning, he won't offer anyone else a drink but will ask me most times, my co workers have told me he isn't usually like this with anyone like he is with me and that he really likes me as a person. He once made out to a co worker that we had been spending time together out of work and then told her when I was out of earshot that he was taking me out for drinks... Course this was a passing comment and nothing has materialised.

Sometimes he stutters, can't get his words out or blushes, other times he's quite smooth, if I say I find someone attractive he goes moody but then will run that person down and wind me up about it constantly for weeks and weeks.

There are other things but this is already long enough and I can't remember all of it... The reasons I think he doesn't like me and that I just actually be going crazy...

He mentions his wife. Or he will tell me about other girls who he thought was attractive (girls I don't know and will never know or see, they are just passing girls) or chat up lines he uses when he's drunk. He's phoned up work before just to tell me he had to cut the last phone call off cos some pretty young girl started talking to him.... He didn't even cut me off so I don't even see the need to say that.

Some days he will basically ignore me as if I'm not there, he won't give anything out he's closed up and not bothered about me, he will laugh with others though, it's like he has decided I don't exist. If we do talk on these days because we have to its all one word answers and no eye contact. If I ignore him back he will start to loosen up but still will be off with me as though I have done something to him.

He doesn't usually act the way he does with me to other work colleagues but sometimes he will for no reason and it irritates me... He has opportunities to touch me but won't, he won't even look at me on these days.

He acts generally like he doesn't even like me as a person sometimes he will get annoyed if I say something he doesn't like and tell me not too cos I sound too much like someone he doesn't like, he won't make any effort whatsoever basically.

Sorry it's so long but a lot has happened and I don't understand him, but unfortunately I do like him now... And I don't know what he's trying to do to me if anything at all? I feel like I am going crazy I really like him but he's so weird with me, nothing will happen I know that but why can't he at least just be consistent! Please don't judge I know how wrong it is to want a married man but just because I want him doesn't mean I'll actually do it.