blueeyes87, your post is eerily similar to exactly what I am going through now. When single, I am a very independent and strong person, but when I am in a relationship, I morph in to this dependent and insecure individual. It is very disconcerting, to say the least.

For me, I find that my problems stem from a need to please others. When I am single, it is just ME I focus on. I do what I want, when I want. However, when I am in a group (relationship or even friends) I have this need to concede and be a 'team player'. I'm not saying that is what is happening here, but I start my relationships being SO supportive and SO willing to bend over backwards to have people like me that once 6 months or more pass, that gets tiring and I start to miss being independent. I am just trying to share my own experiences, in the event this could be similar to what you experience?

I will say counseling is an excellent option. And, above all, being honest with your partner AND yourself.

Think about things you did when you are single and evaluate whether you're not doing that any more. I find myself super isolated when I am in a relationship. I have had to force myself to do the things I did when I was single, like go on hikes by myself or even invite my partner along.

Above all, know that you're not some sort of exception and that this is bizarre. Because, I'm halfway across the world and have the same sort of pattern. Reaching out is a great step. Seeking professional help and determining the cause for these feelings and ways to cope and work with them is the next.