Update

Thanks for all the replies, I appreciate all the thoughts. I wanted to update on what's going on. So the person I'm obsessed with is showing me attention again, so in my books, she is back to 'good' status and I have been on a bit of a high because of it. Have been for a few days. However, that's gonna crash down extremely hard due to the fact I am leaving her in a few days. I am absolutely shitting myself over it. I know I'm gonna react horribly and probably go on another bad low. I'm scared for my own safety. I am scared of what will happen when the person filling the void inside of me is no longer there, and I will be back to how I am before.

Currently I have no therapist as I was referred to another one for more intensive treatment, and now am getting no feedback from the new apparent therapist. I'm scared to be alone, and cope alone. I have also now graduated highschool and have a long summer break which is gonna leave me alone with my thoughts. I suppose all I can do now is find someone new to fill the void, it always ends up like that.