Nikki, I hope you are doing better. I can see that revelation from your T would be shocking, especially as it just seemed to slip out, without apparent relevance to your own therapy. (((hugs)))

I'm one of those who values (yes, and even demands) self disclosure from my T. It is an important part of my therapy and we would not have our close relationship without it.

The closest thing to feeling like being hit with a sledgehammer by a disclosure was when, in the context of another disclosure, it came out that T was divorced. I was really upset by that but didn't even know it for a while. I am going through the breakup of my marriage and that is a main reason I go to therapy. It is so very, very painful, and I felt such strong empathy when I found out T had gone through the same, and I wanted him not to have had to experience that pain. I remember feeling that strong, overwhelming empathy was kind of rattling, as any strong emotion is. We dealt with this in a session months later, and it became an important piece of the puzzle to me, and strengthened the therapeutic alliance. I definitely do not regret learning it. In fact, it has become important to me to know that he has been through this.

It is good there are lots of different sorts of therapists out there so we can find the best fit for us. mandyfins, I think I am kind of like you in how I feel in self disclosure. It does increase T's humanity. He is of the humanist psychology approach, so this makes sense that he would do this.