Quote:
Originally Posted by Oceanview150
My thoughts are pulling me to want to be put into an inpatient hospital forever because it seems safer there. If you are very depressed they make sure you eat, wake up, take your meds, etc. I'm too afraid of the outside world, its cruel and dangerous and no place for a vunerable female who's had psychosis in the past. I'm so afraid I'll switch into psychotic depression and make a mockery of myself, end up being ridiculed then hurt. Also I don't think i'm on enough meds, I have so many mental problems. Schizoeffective. OCD since childhood (now going into GAD). Extreme social phobia, I stay home mostly. The depression and anxiety is so bad, i have no motivation in life to eat, get out of bed or do any important things. I'm afraid I'll end up homeless. Even simple tasks/decisions about everyday life are like doing a complex maths/physics equation, i feel anxious and suicidal. Is there any medication that could help me, especially with motivation? I'm desperate and cannot go on like this.
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My heart goes out to you because your post describes my life. I am so sorry you are suffering so. In my country I'm afraid of inpatient because I could get stuck in the system, end up drugged in a fleabag Medicaid where I'm kept alive for my insurance.
Yes, I'm paranoid. But life sucks.