((((asylumgardens)))) thanks so much for your reassuring words. yeah, i'm slated to have vns therapy (the vagus nerve stimulator). i'm waiting for my insurance to pre-approve it. may take 2 months for that to happen. ect is on my mind only as a last resort. hopefully, the vns can happen before i would actually have to make that decision, which i hope i won't have to do. vns is definitely safer than ect, in my opinion. can't wait for that. hehe, but like all good things, we have to wait.