I like self-disclosure too, but I can see the drawbacks. If something triggers a desire to protect your T, that really is something to discuss, because it probably happens in your other relationships too. Maybe you hesitate to share things with other people in your life, that you might need to share, because you are afraid it will hurt them, for example.

I know some things about my T, and I am glad that I do, and I would like to know more. It is encouraging to know that she has overcome some of the same things that I need to deal with. She has scars on her arms too, for example, and it is comforting to know that she has been there (she didn't tell me, but I can see the scars, and someone else told me a little about her too), and I am glad that she doesn't have to cover up her scars. I feel that she has accepted that stuff in her own past, and it helps to have a guide who has walked the same path before.

But I am finding that when I have the opportunity that I could ask her more about herself, usually I don't. I often wish later that I had, because I do want to know, but there is too much other stuff to talk about it and I have to pick and choose. And maybe I am afraid of knowing too much. I'm not sure why. I would probably make comparisons and come up short.

Talk about what you need to talk about. If you aren't sure, then ask. Therapists are trained to handle it, and if they haven't worked through their own pasts and their own issues, they aren't ready to be therapists. They also know how to get support if they do find a pocket of something they still need to deal with, and it is their responsibility to protect themselves. If you are feeling a role reversal there, it needs to be addressed.