I met a girl I thought I really liked at the beginning of last year. I was unmedicated. Looking back now, I was clearly manic, possibly euphoric.

I told this girl I loved her, wanted to marry her and have babies with her after a couple of months of being with her. I didn't want this, it was the mania talking.

Sadly, she did fall pregnant just as I was entering a pretty bad depressive stage another 2 months down the line. I realised what I'd done and I was horrified with myself. It added fuel to the depression and made things worse.

I guess it was a blessing that she lost the baby after about 4 months. I left her 2 days after she miscarried.

I feel huge guilt and remorse for my actions because I know I damaged this girl very badly with my behaviour. Not my finest hour.

I have to be careful around women when I'm manic. I never know what emotions are real and which ones are driven by mania.