-if not a bunch of stupid illussions we throw on each other,,,,just to get dissaopinted. i wonder. i hope..that it si possible to love WITHOUT FALLING....

without being all in illussions, without depending on a single phone call,,,, eh, stupid me ( in the past)

i don`t know...was lying at night in bed and thought to myself how good it is that behind this wall i have Mom and Dad and our 3 dogs and behind the other wall are Grandmother and Grandfather,,,,,and thought to myself that when i will be 50 and 60 not all of them will be alive, and it`s good to have a nice big family of upir won because whe you are old you need care. and don`t want to be alone.

some time ago i would feel terribly sad after seeing a couple ...like my roomate and her bf....i felt lonely.
now i feel so good why the heck i need another stupid relatioship, recalling my last one, and my [arets want me to meet someonw, he is 31 years old. and i am 22. and i odn`t care and don`t think of it untill this moment:

why do you have to love THAT MUCH the 1 you get married...it`s good if he is a good man..if he is ready to take care of childred, (and doesn`t insist on having too much) and leaves you alone to your business.
my business is graphic design
wiritng novels,
physchology and phylosophy/spirituality,
dancing and choreography
singing and songwriting

and my big dream that will neer leave me-tryring to make a band...........

how much the "fallig in love" thing is important to those "relashionships" ?