The last time I lost enough weight so that I was proportional, it was a slow, steady thing, too. I just walked for an hour or two every day and that seemed to do the trick. I think my diet now is much worse. I was pretty close to vegan then.

But that was about eight years ago. I quit smoking six or seven years ago, packed on 40 lbs again and have never lost more than 10-20 for any length of time. I've gotten sort of in shape for a couple of outdoorsy adventures, but once that's over, I just get fat again.

I'm glad the weaning works for you! I can see how knowing that you will have chocolate at breakfast can really help with keeping yourself away from sugar at dinner (and after!). One thing that I'm actually enjoying about working in the office is that I *don't* snack as much. They have free snacks there and I find myself raiding the stash at the same time every day. I think at home it is more of a continuous raid...

Something you said in your post just kind of reminded me that I have a really warped view of things (like getting dressed, LOL). I actually *could* be wearing nicer clothes than I do. I *have* clothes. I just don't pay enough attention to detail so they look sloppy on me. I am choosing to dress unprofessionally and then moaning about people not taking me seriously. Wow!

The hair brushing thing happens to me more often than not. I can't fit a brush in my purse, but I think I could and should stick one in my glove compartment.

That video was great, btw. I 'play low' all the time. The idea that being a bit more expansive can actually increase your testosterone levels is just bizarre. Maybe there really *is* something to yoga!

The stuff about the Howard/Heidi case study depresses me. It just feels hopeless. The deck is just stacked so high against getting ahead for so many people.

The guy going nuts about the video ports blamed someone else for giving him bad information -- a female, of course! I talked with her afterwards and we had an interesting conversation about the industry and frustrations of dealing with certain attitudes and personalities... this is the same person who had me look at his PC to tell him why it was slow. I identified the cause but he knows it isn't that, so he had me revert the changes. He wants me to find a new reason. It's like me telling the car mechanic that the problem can't be my transmission, it must be something cheaper like a blown fuse.

Putting together a portfolio sounds like a great mini-goal. I wonder how you could break down part of that into an hour long chunk, so it's not overwhelming? Your skills are very much in demand and very 'in.' You are in such a powerful place, but I think the years of being underutilized have really damaged your self-perception.

You are in a situation where if you *had* to find a job that would pay the bills and more or less maintain your standard of living, you could. I find that kind of knowledge really comforting. It's like an escape hatch - knowing where the exits are reduces the panic... and really points up, to me, that we are making *choices* to stay in these situations, but we have the choice to leave as well (not all career paths are so flexible).

I think my neighbor is actually a martyr, so my guess is that a lot of her enjoyment of the job comes in from getting called in I also think she is just incredibly social and loves the interaction...

And, yay for weekends! Mine starts today. We're heading out of town to an event I'm pretty excited about, but there's a lot of getting ready to do. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed again. Not sure if I mentioned it, but I was accepted into a new educational program I've wanted to do for a couple of years. Class is just once a week, but there goes another day, you know? And it's time again to decide whether or not I want to re-up that other class... which I am really uncertain about, again.