I don't think ip is worth the money and aggravation because I don't think they can do anything for me. This isn't bp this is just my life. No one can fix my life. I know I need to take care of myself I feel like **** for doing this to my son...I couldn't stop. I did it once and then couldn't stop. I need to be better for my son. I can't let him grow up like I did. I'm sorry. So sorry. I know my husband is so mad at me right now. But I'm mad at him too...that's part of why I did it. Because he got to take drugs when he promised he wouldn't so guess what I get to cut. Except I could have died. And I can't die for my son.

I'm going to tell her I did it but not really how bad it was. I feel like that's attention seeking. Being too dramatic. Maybe she'll get me into the IOP. I'd be willing to do that.