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Originally Posted by jaymoq
Thanks for the replies! He is a police officer with extensive DWI/DUI training. That his his passion. He's worked nights his entire law enforcement career and has mentioned working a day shift as boring and horrible. But, in the same breath, tells me he'll "do it for me". Im scared if I do ever ask him if he'd work a day shift, he could become bitter about it. He had to work a day shift one week and was miserable. Would we just be trading unhappiness? I know my being alone and isolated magnifies and skews my perspective on that.
In the past, when he has done a favor for me or Ive needed to use his truck to haul one of my horses to the vet (I dont have a truck right now) he has always mentioned how I can repay him or what I owe him. Usually its something simple like a chore or watching one of his nephews for him, but if he expects repayment for doing something small, will he want something significant for going to days? He jokes sometimes I owe him a baby if we go to the country. That sort of debt makes me uncomfortable. Like Im obligated to give him a life! When Ive approached him about it he assures me its just a joke....but then brings it up again.
He is 9 years older than me, so sometimes it does seem he has a more permanent view on his lifestyle and choices.
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Hello!
I can appreciate what you're going through and that you don't want to disappoint him. He sounds like a confident, upstanding man who loves and wants to start a family with you.
From personal experience, it's easier in a relationship when one is the submissive and the other is the dominant. What you have shared so far, feels a little like this. However, I feel, a relationship is stronger when both parties are strong for each other and no one feels like a submissive.
I was an Officer and worked with other Officers and there was a sense of power and ego that went with that. Almost every relationship I knew was either going through a divorce or breaking-up.
Take my advice for what it's worth and know it's from the heart. You might want to suggest couples counseling. Come from the heart when you approach him. If you love him, give him a chance to prove it to you.
Me and my husband went to couples counseling before we were married and were better for it. Complete opposites in every way, but it gave us a chance to be heard. We learned to work together and understand one another.
