It's hard to feel like you are an adult but treated like a child. I live in a house on my mom's property and pay a tiny rent compared to what she could get. She is fairly respectul and at least understands past the point of telling me to get over it (although she's done that kind of thing; when she found out I was suicidal and not safe to have sharps and meds around she told me I was NOT suicidal. Period. Because that's the way to make that happen and when my therapist made me bring her in to talk about it it ended with him just telling me that I didn't have to rely on her support for that part anymore). But sometimes she wants things from me because it is really her house and it's hard, like when she wants someone to see so I have to make it spotless when I feel crappy and haven't slept in 4 days (this happened a few months ago). She helps me clean but I still had to move and work and it was hard. I often act like I'm better than I am with her to avoid conflict. And I can't cry here. I seem to need a greater buffer zone than a few hundred feet to cry more than a few tears even though I know crying would feel good right now.

I guess my advice is that somehow you have to let them know you appreciate the help and that you realize how they have gone above and beyond to help you and you know that makes them really great parents but that you are still an adult and need to make your own decisions. And part of doing that is deciding that you need to aggressively try to get better any way you can (this leaves them some space to think they are still right but you are trying all options) by trying to get your medications taken care of. You understand and respect their views but you feel you need to pursue this avenue as far as it takes you (which is a lot farther but they don't need to know that). Tell them you are also trying to learn techniques to improve your outlook and that you know that is very important too (learning relaxation techniques, coping skills, nearly anything counts as this so you're still treating your bipolar but it sounds like you're doing what they want). And tell them that if you go to the hospital yourself you control how long you are there and if you go because you are forced to it could be longer because you'd have no control. Explain that the hospital is to help you get your thoughts organized (again, sounds like "adjusting your attitude" but isn't).

Now I need to think about why I know all this stuff when it is someone else's parent but when it is mine I will lie until I'm blue in the face to keep her from knowing how I really feel or to do something that doesn't make her happy without unsurmountable guilt. I lie to my mom, a lot, because I know where her tolerance for bipolar ends. Right now she knows that I may wind up IP and because she realized it herself she's ok with that but will I admit to how bad I feel? No, even when she knows I'm lying. Then again she also doesn't mind lecturing me on sleep hygiene. If sleep hygiene worked for me in the form she suggested I would have slept a lot more the last 18 years since I was first educated on it......

It's tough and it sounds like it is even tougher for you. But you have to do what you can to be well for your son. And honestly I think having recent IP records showing that I was dangerously suicidal helped get my SSDI through. Not that I'm suggesting lying about that but I would certainly try to get the records if you qualify and it sounds like you do. The more records the better was my motto and it seemed to work well (and I just happened to have a lot of really bad recent records when I applied).