Thread: Romance?
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Old Jun 05, 2015, 05:44 PM
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Becoming Becoming is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: New York State
Posts: 380
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hooligan View Post
I can relate to what you are asking here, Becoming.

I guess for me, personally, my part of caution comes down to the fact that I do experience episodes pretty frequently, for seemingly long durations at a time, which suck. So I'm constantly asking myself, "When is the next episode around the corner?"

Because when I do go through episodes they tend to be pretty severe and full on and can cause havoc in my personal life, including in relationships - and in your case, that would be romance.

Makes perfect sense to me what you are asking here.

"What if this" ..... "What if that" ...... you're spot on.
I understand worrying about the episodes. I've drowned myself in video games so much that I cannot usually tell how I feel. I've got to say I may be starting to feel depressed though. I literally have next to nothing to do anymore since I graduated and now I am just at home looking for work and didn't keep any friends except for one from High School. All my friends are scattered around too far to quickly get to.

Well I thought I was suppose to have a date or at least meet up with someone and get to know them and then they just stopped responding completly. I am suppose to say it's more to do with her than me, but it just kind of really sucks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toodles333 View Post
I met a girl I thought I really liked at the beginning of last year. I was unmedicated. Looking back now, I was clearly manic, possibly euphoric.

I told this girl I loved her, wanted to marry her and have babies with her after a couple of months of being with her. I didn't want this, it was the mania talking.

Sadly, she did fall pregnant just as I was entering a pretty bad depressive stage another 2 months down the line. I realised what I'd done and I was horrified with myself. It added fuel to the depression and made things worse.

I guess it was a blessing that she lost the baby after about 4 months. I left her 2 days after she miscarried.

I feel huge guilt and remorse for my actions because I know I damaged this girl very badly with my behaviour. Not my finest hour.

I have to be careful around women when I'm manic. I never know what emotions are real and which ones are driven by mania.
I can somewhat understand that. With my last ex, I thought even before we got together that I would marry her cause I'd graduate and we'd still be together. That didn't happen and I didn't realize until hindsight that my desire for a girlfriend on top of hypomania was making rushing into it and feeling strongly so much easier.

Sometimes I do wonder if people who are Bipolar can actually have relationships. Heck, I cannot even seem to stay stable when something even MIGHT be more than friends.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hooligan View Post
Mania makes me feel attracted to more people than I generally would be in a "stable mood" - if that makes sense Toodles.

So yeah I can understand when you say you thought that you liked this girl and wanted to marry her etc - all the mania speaking.

Mania has made me do many things.
Well the thing about Bipolar is that it is harder to function and I understand all that. We still decide to do what we do though. It is just usually not a rational decision when episodes come into play. It is hard to live life without being so effected by having Bipolar sometimes.
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Bipolar II and Borderline Personality Disorder

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