Joshuas-Mommy, are you able to discuss any of this with your T? It helps to talk to T about your fears, and maybe some meds could help, too, as most of us take some meds to give us some extra relief while doing the talk therapy. I'm concerned about your idea of mental health workers doing as you've described, as they are very regulated these days and don't go around threatening clients with knives, and such. It would be important, I think, to bring this up with T and see if T will help with that issue.