I don't know.

Very paranoid. On verge of having another paranoia/anxiety attack right now. I think I'm depressed, but I don't know. I don't really know what I am. I couldn't sleep last night, despite taking my seroquel. I'm angry. I'm irritable. I can't concentrate. I can't focus. It's frustrating.

There's something evil following me around everywhere. I can feel it. I went to the store last night because I need to find something other than making collages to make more positive energy because collages freak me out now, but I don't know what to do. I have to figure something out.

But how can I figure anything out if I can't concentrate on anything at all. I can't even watch movies. I can't concentrate on movies. I can't concentrate on reading. But I don't think I'm having racing thoughts.

I don't know.

I really don't know.

It's making me angry that I don't know!

My goal is to make it to my new pdoc appointment (whenever that will be) without having to go inpatient.

I'm having trouble at work too. I get freaked out at work. I work alone. I have bad paranoia situations at work. I have to make myself not leave. I don't know why. I've never had trouble working before. I get scared. I wish the evil thing following me around would leave me alone.

I hate this mood, whatever it is. This is my unstable mood. This stupid paranoia ********. When I'm just vanilla depressed I don't get this way. That's why I don't know what I am.