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I understand your pain as well. Like jo_thorne said.. there are very few people that I can be me with and have a mutual love and friendship. You had/have an emotional attachment. There is no quick answer for your pain.. but you did receive some good advice above.
The more you keep her "alive" in your brain... the harder it is to let go. It's just going to take time and I hope you reach out for support to get through it.
Maybe you can work your way to a long distance friendship. I have a very good friend who lives across the country.. we have been friends for decades - I do not see her very often but we still have an amazing friendship. The most important value regarding this friendship is, mutual understanding and great "give and take".. over the phone.
If I understand correctly, you are married and this person happens to be a female. That can be very difficult as well. Does your wife understand this friendship?
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“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany
“Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge
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