Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Lindsey
I ask myself that question 20 times a day. I don't know.
Parts of me are a mother, a wife, a Leader/Boss, has a passion for horses
Then other parts of me are frightened, terrified and scared.
Why can't I just be one person.... why do I have to have parts... when will it get better? How many years of therapy does it take to be one person with one trend of thought.
I don't know who I am half the time.... I just let what ever part of me is responsible for the moment and let them do what they need to do... I don't remember but that's ok, because I function and life goes on.
Who am I??? What have I become???? Why do I feel like I am evil??? Why do I not remember so much???? why can't I just be done with this... I am tired of therapy, I am tired of realizing my wonderful childhood, was a figment of my imagination.... when is enough, enough..
Who am I???? I don't know.
I am lost, I am confused, I am frightened, I want to deny that I have DID, I am terrified of what I am uncovering.
I just want this over, I just want to be one person, with one thought pattern, I just want to be normal!  |
even normal people have parts of self example I am a mother/wife/daughter, sister, treatment provider, co worker, my passion is canoeing, sailing, the arts (love broadway shows) and I have normal parts of self where I'm happy, frightened, excited, exhausted, angry.... and I am now one whole person. All my alters have been integrated.
Just because a person becomes one again doesnt mean their designation of who they are becomes simple and only one thing...it just means they have control over which emotion which side of their self they choose to show the world...example when I am at work I am the co worker\employee...when Im with my siblings I am their sister, when I am with my wife I am a wife, when I am with my children I am their mother. when I am feeling angry I can control that anger and express it in appropriate ways at appropriate times....
when someone becomes one (their alters integrate\merge with them to become one person again) nothing is lost\left behind or dies. everything the alters are becomes the birth person again rather than separated through dissociation.
who are you.....well according to your post here in this thread you as a whole are a mother/wife\leader\boss....all those things in your post. i bet if you read your other posts you have done on psych central you will find out about who you are.