Wow, man...the similarities between our families are striking! My Dad too was the calm, funny, easy-going type that started a successful excavating business from scratch in the 40's. I truly believe my mom was a narcissist, because it was always about her. She would brag how -we- built this business and -we- worked so hard, but in reality she didn't do shite but have 8 of her friends over for bridge club every week. She had a housekeeper (that she charged the business for), and never worked a job during my lifetime anyway. My present wife met her for the first time when my Dad was in hospice. After 5min she walked out of the room and Wifey said 'that woman has a black heart.' If she only knew....

I was raised as an only adopted child...thank goodness nobody else had to suffer her. I thought my last name was 'Don't' until I was 18. I played classical piano from age 5-15 when the bipolar started gaining steam, and after I quit playing to take hallucinogenics, drink beer and search for vaginas to penetrate she -hated- me. She had been living vicariously through me so she could spout off to her friends about my National Piano Guild certificates and performances at Stars Of Tomorrow. I wore a target on my back she shot her hate at for the next 41yrs. I felt if I had ever won $100million in the lotto...she would chew my azz for spending the $1 for the ticket. I couldn't do a n y t h i n g right.

When I was little, she threw whatever was at hand: scissors, Corningware 'Cornflower' bowls or loaves of bread. But her fav were shoes. Visual: hopping mad as a wet hen redhead on one leg trying to get the shoe off the other foot to hurl at me. She missed her calling...most teams in the majors could use some pitching. She was toxic so I bailed out to get away from her to the SF Bay Area, and spoke to her as little as possible during the 20yrs I lived there. Because it was a fight...each and every time it was a fight.

Of course there were crickets coming from friends and family...until she died...THEN people started telling me screwy stuff she had done...very selfish things. And always the martyr. I'm just glad its been over now for 5yrs. Wifey and my lifelong friends just laugh about it now, because there was some pretty funny stuff take place around her. They asked me if I would cry when she passed away...and I answered I would...but only because of what the relationship never was.

I had to own my part in all this dysfunction after she passed, though. I can't honestly pin all this on her because she was just reacting (incorrectly) to a crazy man even though I didn't ask for this disorder nor did I deserve it...it was what it was. I was a perfect combination of the Tasmanian Devil and Yosemite Sam. Really. But we keep on moving forward!