Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
There is always a fly in the ointment. I guess that's life. Your MIL sounds to me like the kind of person who likes to hold up the hoops for other people to jump through at her bidding. I wouldn't reinforce that by showing the slightest interest in any schemes she comes up with, be it counseling, or whatever. And that's what I smell here with this counseling thing - a scheme. If something comes of it and your husband asks you to go, then maybe go to honor him . . . not to comply with her.
She sounds like a woman who does seek a lot of compliance out of people - to her will - and your husband may have a history of giving her too much.
In what way does she anticipate losing her son . . . just because he won't be working with his father? Or are you two contemplating moving a good distance away? Ask yourself honestly: how likely is it that this MIL is setting up anything in the interests of "healing," as opposed to her jockeying for more control?
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Hello Rose76,
Thank your for your reply. You make valid points. Before I came into my husbands life, my MIL was the center of attention, be it holidays or random events. Me and my husband argued plenty early on about his parents. It took counseling for us to have a conversation, where both sides were heard. This was 6 years ago and my MIL is still having a hard time not being the center of attention. This is her only son. My husband's side of the family is pretty broken. I basically left my drama to enter another, know one's fault, just making a feeling statement.
I believe, my MIL feels she is losing control. Her attachment to him is unhealthy and it could stem from past family issues of her own upbringing. I know it sounds like I'm giving her excuses. It sucks because I care too much for those that appear to care less for me.
If you we move, it could be two states away. This would be hard for his parents. It would give us breathing room and to be honest...I am very open to moving and starting
our lives. I wish there was an easy button, some way I could fix this.
My husband said, yesterday, his parents don't know me (which is weird). He explained, they don't remember conversations we've had. They base there feeling about me on events and holidays. I don't know what to say about this. Me and my MIL have had 100's of one-on-one conversations and to think she doesn't remember details about me...even what movies I like. I'm speechless and lost.
It is in my nature to cut people out who are unhealthy for me, I just want to be honest with that, but also, I have tried everyone a daughter-in-law/person can try to be apart of the family and to have them know me. I did mention to my husband, the next time his mother complains about me, to say, I will not listen to that.
Okay, I'm rambling. I hope I gave you insight and answered your questions. I am knee deep into this situation and it's hard to know what I should do.