asked for valium at age 16,,, just could not unwind, very angry raging childhood and as a young adult (an example . used to drive around with a gun hoping to stop a crime, rescue someone, ect..). very self destructive behaviour (driving over 100 almost every day),, thankfully never did drugs or alcohol (to God filled for that)... I was his avenging angel of wrath (scary looking back now... ) never really dxed till went ip for a week after a bad ad trip..(I guess my first real documented episode). @ 55 ...little over two and 1/2 years ago..

I really thought everyone thought and acted as I did,, no close friends so I guess I grew up in a vacumn, i did not know what BP was till called that while ip .... been hard believing and accepting it, but the more I remember and understand been this way (f**ked up) most my life.... the funny thing is I was a preacher and went to bible college and really thought I was doing God's work during all this time.... I am just so lucky I never killed anyone or myself along the way....

thanks for asking.. "bad memories".. but good to get it out...