Hello,
I have been married for a year now and my issues concern my mil. She is very cunning. My husband and I both being from typical Indian families live with my in-laws my husband being the only son is expected to share his part of the salary for family's functioning. My mil is also working and it's been 4 yrs that my fil has retired.
My issue here is my mil being a selfish lady doesn't let's us keep my husband's salary. She has always taken loans and made my husband repay them. She never compromises with any of her wishes but we are expected not to spend a single penny without her permission. She goes on holidays every month. Will buy expensive clothes where as my husband and I struggle to repay her loans. I have adjusted with this behaviour for more than a year thinking my husband has duties towards his family, but now that I am expecting a baby it really concerns me alot. I am having sleepless nights thinking what is the future of my child. We pay almost our entire salary for EMIs. We are left with a minimum amount for our monthly expenses. I talk to my husband about this very often telling him that we need to have some amount for ourselves as well and he understands it and tells me that he will talk to his mother but somehow always fails. She always tricks him emotionally into paying her bills. She herself earns a decent amount. My sister in law is also working. She also being close to her mother gives some amount of her sal salary to my mil. Even then my mil always falls short of money. She sold all of her gold for her expenses. she wears my husbhusband's engagement ring which completely annoys me because a engagement ring is such a personal thing. I always tell my husband to ask the ring back from her but he always refuses saying let it go I don't want to start a fight at home. How in the world can anyone wear some one else's engagement ring and how do I explain that to my husband!
I really don't understand how to deal with my mil. She is constantly bothering me with what she expects of my husband. She wants us to bear the expense of my sister in law's marriage expenses in the near future. And my husband has readily agreed. I feel like leaving this house and just live with my child elsewhere earning my own bread of which I am very much capable of. Recently my husband has got a promotion and a decent salary raise which I felt like was a boon for us so that we can save for our child. But now she is expecting us to repay another of her loans Which really makes me angry with my husband. I am afraid he will agree for the pressure she puts on him and we will be again back to zero. I am continuously stressed out thinking about all of this and afraid it might affect my baby.
Please help me know how to deal with my mil.