I used to attend Al-Anon in 2004. It helped some. I guess I have spent too many years co-dependant (thats what the therapist told me I am). I think I have spent too many years living like this. It is somehow my normal. I am trying very, very hard to break myself, much better than I used to be.

Lets see, we got our divorce papers in April 2005, same day I received them in the mail, he asked me to move into this beautiful house he had rented, I went for it, he promised he would quit drinking. He did, except for Christmas and New Years (or so it seemed). The beginning was great, we did things together, then as time went by he was having issues (as he put it) with the things he thought I had done (never admitted to the affair and that is what he was referring to). He got a DUI, he was court ordered to attend AA, spent the night in jail, I bailed him out, drove him everywhere he needed to go, I paid over $500 to get his license back for him then a couple of months later, he began drinking daily, was very rude to me on a daily basis, until the day he packed his crap and left.

I havent gotten back with him since this. I am so sick of it, I just don't understand him, he says he loves me, then why couldn't he ever do the only thing I asked "to quit drinking". So I am finished with him. He chose his path and I will choose mine. My brother was killed by a drunk driver in 1992 and he says that is why I don't like him drinking. Not true, I complained about it before that for years! But obviously no one heard me.

I am sorry if I am rambling, but I have had it, he called me tonight and was complaining that I never call him, I told him that is because I don't know if he is drinking or not, plus I don't see the point. He still thinks in his tiny little mind that we might possibly get back together. I have told him, that is not going to happen. We have been divorced for two years, you left me to go drink. I have tried to be just friends with him, but he gets the wrong idea.