Why does it matter why he does it. He clearly isn't well. I wouldn't spend time thinking why but worry about my safety

Well if he pushed you down and you liked it, it clearly gave him a thrill or he wouldn't do it. Maybe he can't find anyone who likes it or engages in such encounters (I might be wrong but I don't think it's common, I had many men and an almost 50 but thankfully none engaged in or liked any type of physical altercation or rough play or anything rough verbal or physical, I assume it is not that common for women either so he might have no luck finding anyone) and hopes you'll go for it again.

You might not consider yourself battered woman but he might see it differently and he might enjoy that you fight back. In fact many abusers do enjoy the fact that woman fights back. And I am surprised you are saying he didn't control you. Whatever he did then and is doing now by messing with your life is a control.

Bottom line the situation might appear different to him than to you. And it doesn't even matter what he does and why. What matters as he sounds dangerous ( if he killed your cat he is very capable of serious violence). At some point he was allowed to mess with your life and he sees no reason to stop.

I would still try restraining order and if you can't then talk to your lawyer and police what you can do. Maybe you lawyer can advice what to do with rumor spreading. I would most certainly ask a lawyer

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