Your husband is trying to make excuses for his mother, as he's probably done all his life. Your MIL does know you, and she doesn't like the competition. She wants to be the center of his world. You are in the way if that. You always will be, and she is always going to have some bad feelings toward you.

Having said that, you cannot just cut her out of your life. Eventually she'll die, and that's when you'll be free of her. There is nothing wrong with you looking forward to that day either. Meanwhile, your job is to be courteous for your husband's sake. You don't have to love this woman, or even like her. Be blandly pleasant and avoid fighting with her. I say that because altercations play into gameplan. You want to minimize being engaged in whatever crap she's starting, which is why I say you show show zero interest in this creepy counseling scheme.

A health issue like epilepsy is the kind of thing that an adult manages, mainly with the help of his spouse. His parents role is to wish the two of you well in meeting the challenges posed by his condition and to mind their own business. They can make themselves useful, by being willing to help out, if and when they are asked to, in the way that they are asked to, should help be wanted.

That your husband works for his father slightly complicates things, but not much. What would the father do, if some other of his employees had epilepsy? That should basically be the guide. It would be the best thing in the world, if your husband could find another source of a livelihood. Were it to necessitate you two moving 2 states away - well, that would be extra gravy on the potatoes.

Thus MIL is going to be a thorn in your side for as long as she lives. That's the reality - forget the healing. People don't change . . . not their basic natures. Her wanting to be overly entwined in her son's life is as basic as it gets. She'll stop that when she stops breathing. You can hold this opinion quietly and go about your life as best you can, avoiding being overly tangled up with her. Your husband loves this woman. You can respect that without letting her constantly use you for target practice. When that happens, remove yourself from her presence, using whatever lame pretext is handiest: "Getting one of my distressing headaches. Afraid I can't join the family tonight. Thanks ever so much for understanding." Then go shopping with one of your girlfrriends. MIL will know your lying, and that's okay. Nothing wrong with you slyly telegraphing to her the message, "No, I'm not available to participate in your sneakiy little games."