Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
With everyone "grown", the family counseling thing sounds a bit odd to me; it's not like there's a child having a problem? You all are two different couples and it sounds like your mother-in-law hasn't thought things through. Any "good" counseling is going to strengthen the relationship between husband and wife in this situation, not mother and son? She'll "lose" her son worse! She's the one who doesn't belong in the "family"?
It has to be hard with your husband working for the family business and, I assume, your father-in-law taking orders from his wife :-) The three of them have opportunity and need to be together so almost have to talk about family and interactions, etc.
Were I you I'd decide what I personally wanted for your and your husband's marriage and discuss it with him, asking him not to discuss it with his parents. If you want your husband to leave the family business, I'd tell him that and brainstorm ways to do it. If your mother-in-law finds out stuff from your husband talking about the two of your's relationship/marriage conversations, I'd maybe get some marriage counselling so he learns to separate his marriage from his family business interests and refuse to share things about you in the business setting?
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Perna,
Your right, the counseling thing is odd. His parents need counseling far me than we do. We went to a year and a half. I will make it a point to chat with my husband about his idea about moving. Even if the business turns around, I feel working for his Dad is a weight on or relationship.
He literately works down the street from where his parents live. The three of them see each other far more than we see each other as a group. He makes it a point to talk about me, almost as a subtle reminder that I exist.
Something that bugged me recently was, my Husband said to his parents, we all need to make efforts. I've made plenty of effort and feel that's not brought to their attention. Also, these conversations happen after work or during a work meeting and therefore, I'm not present. My husband is trying to help, but I feel I'm not there to defend myself. This could be the reason why they feel they don't know me. They seem to remember the heated conversations that
I'm never a part of.
I don't want to fight with my husband, but when they bring up family stuff during a work meeting...I'm going to tell him, tell your Dad...Mom...Parents that, I need to be present when it comes to family meetings. This might help.
