Maybe I am romanticizing faith. While I have always been one who respects all faiths (providing they do not promote death rituals or anything like that), I envy those people who seem to have such a definite absolute faith.

I tend to be a centralist in that all beliefs have good and bad about them, but it is one area where my doubts still linger. I don't know if I am doubting faith or doubting my ability to feel faith. Maybe there is some traces of cynicism because I have always preferred individual expression over institutional controls. I can be a bit of a non-conformist.

Maybe I fear that giving whole faith in something would make me narrow-minded and yet, the generalness of my faith seems indecisive or weak to me sometimes. I feel a need to find something but how do I find something if I don't know what I am looking for?