Quote:
Originally Posted by joshuas-mommy
I don't remember when I started disliking sex. I didn't like having sex with my boyfriends when I was in middle school. I felt like I was being sexually abused. I was previously sexually abused as a child. Then, I enjoyed having sex. Them, I didn't like having sex again in my early 20s. My son's dad I sometimes enjoyed and sometimes didn't. After I gave birth, my son's dad wanted to have sex before I even healed up (about 3 weeks). He said he was a man and he had needs. He told me after we had sex that he didn't like it and I had a big vagina. Then, ever since then I disliked sex.
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That is terrible. So many aspects of this is so not right. First off the meds will make your sex drive be nonexistent. Mine is nonexistent because of the meds.
CSA (child sexual abuse) will often make sex feel like abuse. In previous relationships and in a married relationship as well. I was sexually abused as a child and raped as a teen and I have no use for sex. It is a way to make children that is all. I have absolutely no sexual desire.
It also sounds like your husband is triggering thoughts of abuse from long ago. His reaction to sex after the baby was born was WRONG. If you feel badly about sex with him then the things he told you are partially to blame for that decline. Shame on him and it is his fault you are not so receptive.
"When the Woman You Love Has Been Sexually Abused" is a great book on this subject. It is a book you can read together or that you can read to better understand yourself, and maybe even share some tidbits of info with him.
You sound so much like me. I was sexually abused, I don;t like having sex even with my husband. (and I didn't with previous partners either) Meds have not helped, and they won't. That is the nature of an anti-depressant.
Do you have insurance? How old is the baby? The reason I ask is if the baby is under 6 weeks old you may be able to claim "Postpartum Depression" (even though it is not) and the insurance may cover Therapy. It is then a childbirth related illness. Even medicaid will cover it. That is what I had to do in order to get to see a Therapist in the beginning. I went our family Dr and he made a referral. The Therapist immediately saw that it was not postpartum depression but wrote it up as if it was and medicaid covered 10 additional weeks of therapy.