((((((((( gerber )))))))))))))

You're right (in a previous post) .. we are a lot alike. I hang out here too much and don't do anything besides work and go to the grocery store once a week. I do have some interests/hobbies but sometimes have a hard time concentrating on them. Today I wanted to read and it took me a while to settle down to be able to just relax and read.

I hope you'll write/journal about your session. And maybe you could spend a few minutes thinking about other times you've thought you said too much and then afterwards worried about T being angry with you and then, remember your call to him and what he said. Recall his soothing words from then and imagine him saying them now.

On Wednesday you could talk to him about all the things you said here, your worry he would be angry with you, your feeling lonely at this time and scared about feeling too lonely.

When I first started with this T, just a few months ago, I apologized for "flitting all over the place" when I talked and not really "landing" anywhere. I felt like such an idiot doing it but couldn't stop. nerves and fear I guess. Other times I have been disappointed in myself in that I felt I didn't have much to say or just couldn't get it out there. I've expressed concern about 'how I'm doing in here' and she always reassures me, as I'm sure your T would too, that I'm doing fine and I'm "right where I need to be right now".

Everything is something to learn from so just trust if you can that your T is just fine with what you tell him, that he is a very secure and sturdy person and can take anything you have to tell him. You aren't dangerous to him and he can and does take care of himself and you too.

You'll find your direction and joy as you go. Be open to it. We can be struggling and yet still be doing just fine.



ECHOES