I posted before somehow, it wasn't easy but I posted about my addiction to pornography, if you haven't read it plz do before replying it may help you understand this topic too. I'm 17 and a male so hormones are kicking me all over. When I masturbate I regret it because of my thoughts, the porn, and most of all the lusting it brings. I'm always so suicidal that realseing endorphins( spelled right?) seems a must, I'm often lusting 24/7 about sexual things , becuase I feel i dunno it'd maybe make me happy? I also wonna say if I someday do marry someone and they died or god for bid both they divorced me I'd never remarry because to me that ceremony is only good for 1 time, im so rambling...im so depresed im sry