Today was a really hard day. I shared some pictures of my abuse with my therapist and got so upset that I needed to take a break. When I came back into the room I sat beside her feeling like it was nice to have some proximity to her, that I needed some warmth from her life to restart my fire which was quickly dulling. Before I could even think twice I crawled into her arms putting my head against her warm chest. It felt so wonderful finally being received for the correct reason, to truly be embraced in an attempt to comfort the pain of having endured something miserable, something disgusting, something unreal. Her hands were gently placed on my outside arm as I cuddled next to her thin, toned body. I felt loved for a moment, valued, and cared for, but I couldn't handle it. I suddenly got so worried that I was invading, somehow an intrusion to her body, her life. I jumped from my seat and removed myself from her embrace and a palpable sadness filled the void of where she had once been. I now hugged tightly to regret and anger, disappointment at having allowed myself to break. Having allowed myself to need her and take the comfort I wanted without regard for her own feelings of space, her own sense of self. I find myself wondering now, as a much afterthought, how do I handle this? Not only the continued interaction between the two of us, but also the want for more and the feeling that somehow, though on a perhaps smaller scale, I have become the abuser willing to extract for myself without consideration of the other, to objectify for my needs while effortlessly ignoring hers. I'm confused and sad, any thoughts?