but the way he is responding to my flitting around suggests to me that he is susceptible to my influence. He is trying to adapt to each time i decide i want a particular direction. That doesn't say he is in control to me, it says i am ruining my chance with therapy.

yeah, i did the "this day forward" stuff at one point. believed it even. But it's hollow. Attitude, good or bad, is like spit against the wind. It's meaningless. Everything is essentially meaningless.

i lost everything, for what simple and pathetic possessions i did own, at 26. Went through a major break up with a seven yr, live-in bf.. a tumor and surgery/treatment.. bipolar dx..and so on. It was my everest.