Hi rr13. I am so sorry for what you have endured and experienced as abuse from the time you were a child. No one should have to go through that. But it sounds like you are a survivor and aiming to deal with it.

But it is hard without a therapist and guide. Even a social worker could organize a plan for caring for you. You also need friends and support. I have found some of that here at Psych Central.

Many people find the forums and the articles helpful. Here are some forums.
Post-traumatic Stress - Forums at Psych Central

Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, mindfulness, calm music, and being active on Psych Central.

Glad you are joining us here. There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central.
http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.