gerber - I'm sorry you feel so down and alone. Holiday's are really hard. I'm not sure the therapist is supposed to 'control' the session so much as hold it together. Just my thought. I'm something like you as well. 36 with not much of importance to show for it. I've had hobbies and interests, but they don't stick and are just distractions. I spend too much time on the pc because I have nothing else to do and I am just waiting sometimes to go to bed. I know I'm getting better though and my meds are helping and I'm starting to find purposeful things to pursue. I hope you will too. But even for me now I still go up and down and revisit what you're going through right now.

I hope you won't take that extra shift so you can get that call. I think you'll be surprised in a positive way. It sounds like you could really use the support you will get from your T's phone call on Wednesday.