There are all kinds of things going on here, not just one issue. You guys have relationship issues, you have performance anxieties and it sounds like some inexperience.

Concerning the orgasm issue; women typically require direct clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Normal penetration doesn't give that direct stimulation so you have to use other methods. I suggest learning and perfecting your oral sex techniques. Seriously. When she not only has an orgasm, but it's so hard she goes blind you'll both quit worrying so much about penetration.

Second, your penis size is what it is. There's no point worrying about it and it ultimately has nothing to do with "performance". As I mentioned above, it's possible to make her go temporarily blind without penetration. (Seriously, I'm not kidding about that.) So if that's the case, then penis size is irrelevant.

Third, and this is a relationship issue, you guys need to keep the past in the past. Ex's are nothing but trouble. Steve Harvey made the comment once that he didn't have any ex's. This wasn't him being literal, of course he did. What he was saying is that he didn't talk about them with his wife. He didn't have fond memories, didn't think back to them ... he focused on the here and now with his wife. Keep the past where it belongs and don't talk about past relationships.

Fourth ... this is getting long winded ... it sounds like you two aren't speaking the same Love Languages. http://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages...languages+book It sounds like you speak Physical Contact where she doesn't so you might as well be trying to have a relationship with one of you speaking Chinese and the other speaking German.

I strongly suggest a couple's counselor to help you guys get on the same page. It's not something you want to give up on, but you do need help getting on each other's wave length.